Wednesday, November 09, 2011

changing

Circumstances are ever-changing.

I came back to my hall in NUS this morning, with no plan for the day whatsoever. But somehow things seemed to fall into place, and my day turned out quite well! Studied some notes for the Plant Growth and Development module I'm taking, sorted through my plant specimens and did some data entry for my Final Year Project, mixed around a little with the people in my lab (I went to Business canteen for lunch! Haven't been there in ages!), revised some statistics, went for dinner with my family, dug out my old statistics notes at home, made wholemeal muffins of different flavours, etc. Most of these were last-minute changes/decisions, but I've since learnt to go with the flowwww :D it's amazing what you can do with 24 hours in a day.

Hopefully, the rest of my days this year will be as productive/fulfilling as today!


---
Here's what I have for the rest of this week :p have to jot this down here, because I haven't really been keeping tabs, haha. Sorry, very mundane, please skip if you want (:

Wednesday (9/11):
- Go through statistics notes
- Marine Biology lecture (last lesson!)
- Discuss statistics with Mark
- Meet Chaoyang to collect posters for NUSBS Dharma Camp, put them up in Engineering faculty
- Sort out plant specimens
- Jogging with Louise at the track
- Study Plant Growth and Development notes
- Kelvin's birthday surprise (whoops hope he doesn't know my blog's existence, lol.)
- Hall exam welfare supper

Thursday (10/11):
- Study Plant Growth and Development notes
- Sort out plant specimens and do data entry
- Swimming with Mafer
- Study with Yunlan
- Kope some food from Block Supper? Seems I'm having too much unhealthy food, hmmm.

Friday (11/11):
- One Day on Earth video project :D
- Study
- Tsu Ching exam dinner activity?? Seems I'm really having too much food, lol.

Saturday and Sunday:
- Studyyyy
- Family time

All the way, Carmen!

On a small sidenote, I actually wrote this because I was tempted to talk to someone on Facebook (again), yet didn't want to because I had nothing substantial to say -.- argh Carmen, lol. Concentrate! Let things go with the flow, just like today's events, and don't worry so much XD

smile at 12:17 AM

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Thursday, October 20, 2011

(:

Hello world!

Haven't written here for the past few months already. I guess I was trying to ease back into life in Singapore after the months overseas (:

Many things have happened since I came back; a whole flurry of activity. Year 4 is fun though! I guess it's because I'm enjoying my fun but tiring final year project, plus I only have 2 modules this semester, haha. It's already week 10 of the 13 weeks of the semester, but it really doesn't feel that way.

I'm feeling quite happy today! Currently sitting in the department vehicle, sheltered from the rain and enjoying the aircon, with yummy Ikea lunch in my tummy :D

Done with my plot in the morning thanks to my mentors Kwekyan and Alex, and lab assistant Andy (who's going to leave soon T-T). They went into the swampy areas of the plot (getting the lower half of their body wet) and got bitten by ants for my sake XD all of us had lots of mosquito bites too D: well, that marks the end of my 20th plot, yayyyy! 30 more to go :p it's possible, so I'm not worrying too much about it.

I'm really grateful that I have friends and people supporting me (: I always seem to have helpers for my fieldwork, even if it's at the last minute (: even friends who are not doing Biology offered to help out, aww. So touched! I already have a group of friends who promised to help me in December woohoo~

Hm I was thinking of having a birthday party at my house this year to thank my friends who made a difference to my university life, since it's my final year and everything ;) exciting! My mother likes the idea, hahaha. She loves planning social events XD I used to have big birthday parties when I was younger and more socially awkward, lol. Let's see how it goes (:

Haha that's all for now, bye and hope I've the inspiration to write again in the near future!

smile at 2:24 PM

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Sunday, October 16, 2011

Sorting Out

Words make a big impact on me.
Maybe it's because of my English and Literature classes (and my mother who taught these subjects) that honed my comprehension abilities, making me see the nuances of word usage.
Maybe it's just my personality.
Maybe that's why I fall for guys so easily.
Maybe that's why I like intangible words of appreciation.

Is it wrong?
To look into things and think so much, yet keeping it inside and only telling some friends or writing it out?

I've acquaintances and friends from university who were surprised to find out that I fall for guys easily. I guess I don't show it. Or I just don't really put in the effort to impress the opposite gender. Or maybe after spending so much time and energy on it in secondary school, junior college and my first year of university, I just don't see the point. It's either non-attachment or escapism, I can't tell at the moment.

Have I given up on finding a partner for myself? Nowadays, I even joke with my parents about becoming a nun, and they seem fine with it! I'm starting to see that the normal unquestioned route of a person growing into an adult, getting married and starting a family is not the only way to live a life. There are so many possibilities. I don't have to go to the extreme of becoming a nun; I can just live my life as a strong, independent woman with love to share with everyone.

Maybe that's the problem. I'm starting to see that I don't need a guy to complete my life. I'm capable and talented on my own. Why should I, if I could lead groups of people to organise meaningful campus-wide and overseas activities while juggling heavy schoolwork, or live overseas by myself for almost half a year?

Perhaps I'm putting up walls to deal with potential disappointment. After all the countless crushes and misses, I'm starting to let go quicker each time I fall for another boy. Something nice that a guy said or did? Nah, he'll probably do that to another girl anyway. I'm not special to him. I'm just another good friend, someone to be nice to but not be serious about.

But then, there's always something that pulls me back. When I'm just about to let go completely, here comes a nice and talented guy who has similar interests as me. We did quite a number of activities together, and seem to enjoy each other's company. He cares about everyone around him, calls people by their name like they matter and looks them in the eye intently when listening to them. He does so many activities that it's hard to comprehend how he juggles everything so well. I really admire him as a person, and even if nothing happens, I'm glad to have him as a friend.

Yes, there I go preparing myself for disappointment again. But that's how it is, and at least I'm writing this out now so I can get something off my chest.

Thank you, words (:

smile at 2:05 PM

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Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Looking forward!

Heehee so many things are going to happen, one after another, and I'm looking forward! :D (such a different mood from my previous entry, which is a great thing)

Happy things:
1. My mother and sister arrived in Bristol a few days ago, and it was wonderful having a taste of home and a break from studying (: and they brought a few pieces of clothing too! Ohyay, a nice change from wearing the same old things for the past few months XD

2. Went for a jog yesterday in 12 degC weather and it felt good! Also explored the grounds of my hall and loved walking around the vegetation, admiring the temperate plants and ladybugs (: collected some pretty seeds too (:

3. I just realised that there's free wifi in my hall's lounge, so I'm sitting on a comfy sofa now, doing non-revision stuff, heh heh. And this is after weeks of commuting to and from school just to use the campus' wifi -__- ohwell at least I get to go out and not hole myself in my room like the happy loner that I sometimes am XD

4. Last exam tomorrow morning! It's 12.30pm and I only have one lecture left to revise. Which explains why I'm blogging now :p

5. Watching X-Men First Class with my two best friends in Wills Hall, Judy and Silvia, tomorrow :D

6. Having dinner at Jamie's Italian the day after with my mother and sister, mmmm :D

7. Leaving for Venice, Italy, with my mother and sister on the 10th, after which we'll be going to:
Other cities in Italy
- Florence
- Pisa

Switzerland
- Montreux
- Interlaken
- Lucerne

France
- Paris
- Le Havre

Back to the UK
- Portsmouth
- Bristol
- Manchester
- York


And after this, my life will pick up speed again. One last week in Bristol before I return to Singapore, then plunging head-first into my special semester module (exciting - we get to go on field trips and one of them is to Pulau Tioman!) and the all-important final year project :0 I'm already getting emails from my professor and supervisor on the procedures, rules and administration, as well as some papers that I've to read! I'm going to read them during my travelling time in Europe, yes! My determined student mode is coming back on, lol.

I was talking to Judy and Leslie, and we agree that it's the right time to leave (: I feel satisfied, and grateful for everything I've experienced over here, but then there's also this growing feeling - that I want to go back to the fast-paced lifestyle that I had back in Singapore. There are times when I'm in my room, realising that I've nothing on my schedule and I don't have any idea what to do XD which is a great feeling to have, but then again I also enjoy the feeling of being productive, on the ball, and motivated.

The key is BALANCE, and I think that after this half a year here, I'm still not there yet, but at least I've a better of what this balance is (: I've learnt that sometimes it's okay to let go, but not too much as well. I've made mistakes here that I won't/can't make back in Singapore (thank goodness for the pass/fail option hahaha) and have since learnt from them :p

Speaking of balance, I've the pain of persistent cramps to balance out the happy things that are to come -____- must...tolerate. It'll be over in a few days! D:

That's all for now! Posting a happy photo of myself in the hall lounge with the free wifi, hahaha.

smile at 7:26 PM

2 comments

Monday, May 23, 2011

melancholy

Hello, world. I haven't blogged for so long D: since the last entry, I've travelled around Europe (and made short videos of each day, which I'm really proud of :D), had a few more weeks of classes, and now it's the exam period in the University of Bristol.

However, I feel out of sorts today. My mind's floating around, and I'm thinking about everything else but my exams -__- hm let me try to pinpoint to source(s) of this state I'm in. Warning: long rant post! Digging into deep-seated issues XD

1. My mother has been communicating with me through Skype, Facebook, Gmail, etc. in preparation for her trip to the UK and Europe with my sister. We've lots of planning to do, and she keeps changing her mind (which is expected, since she's so excited about it, plus this is the longest she's ever been apart from me) so it could be a bit frustrating at times. She's also taking on the friends/peers tone with me, which I'm still not used to after many years of her being the mother/disciplinarian figure in the household. Like posting links on my Facebook wall, using emoticons, etc. Then I feel bad for being impatient with her ))):

2. I don't have internet in my hall room due to my thriftiness (only paid until the end of April because I didn't want to pay for an additional 3-month subscription but only using 1 month) which is a good thing in a way because I won't have anything to waste my time at night, but then again I have to make my way to the university every morning to use their wifi. And on days like today when it is cold, gloomy and windy, it's not a good start to the morning. Plus the connection is not really great, so Skype is jumpy and with lots of background noise, which is bad when you're trying to make plans with your mother, as mentioned in Point 1.

3. I'm seeing more people getting attached, including a guy whom I had/may still have feelings for before I left Singapore. And there are an increasing number of friends I know who are engaged, or even married. Omgnessss. I guess portraying myself as a busy, independent, academically-motivated person isn't getting me points in the relationship department -__- and I don't even know what I want in a relationship! Gah. I'm at the stage of life that people start thinking about these kinds of things.

4. I'm afraid that I won't be able to go back to the stressful NUS lifestyle after slacking and enjoying my life in Bristol for half a year. I'm already trying to change my mindset now so that I can adapt more easily when I return, but what if I can't cope and give up on pulling up my CAP to a First Class (even though it's a little stretch, but still possible)? But after my first two years in uni, I've since realised that there's more to life than just studies. So how?

5. 4 months of not having a proper pillow and a nice warm comforter is finally getting to me; sometimes I wake up with backaches or feel stiff all over. But I can't buy anything now, it's a waste of money! The thrifty side of me (refer to Point 2) told myself at the start of the year that it's not worth it to rent a bedding set or buy some pillows from the shops, since I'm not using them to their full lifespan. So yup, I just have a grit my teeth and bear it XD

6. My earphones are faulty, which is a pain when I need to Skype, or listen to some music. It's the little things that really get to you, like how a papercut causes the most irritation/pain. Hmm shall get a new pair soon. I can't get the earbuds kind though, because they don't fit my ears well. Maybe hook-on earphones, or even headphones? I'd rather spend some money than put up with my current wires-twiddling, lol.

7. I'm getting fatter ): not good.

Okay la should stop thinking negative thoughts. I'm having such a wonderful life, and I should be grateful (:

BE HAPPY ALWAYS :D

smile at 5:41 PM

1 comments

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Travel Video!

Okay I'm quite excited because I'm planning to make a travel video during my Spring break, when I've travelling around Europe!

I found some good tips and ideas, so shall be writing a list here and adding on as I go along:

- Pan across a landscape, add title
- Film self introducing the day and/or place
- Funny dance like the Visa ad: variation - make my own dance moves; spinjumps/teleportation
- Different transportation in each country
- Keys and/or locks to accommodation
- Different viewpoints (through the eyes of the pigeon/sunglasses/my toys, through a drink/ring/geometric object, etc.), angles (top, bottom, eye level, ground, table, etc.), shots (wide, mid, closeup)
- Pan from feet to sky
- Pick out a feature that stands out in the city and use it as the theme/motif throughout the video, e.g.: tulips and bicycles in Amsterdam
- Don't take generic things; find something which tells a story

- If doing 1 video/country, limit each video to 2 mins
- 5x5 (5 by 5): 5 clips, 5 secs from each clip; extra ideas - standardise theme of each of the 5 shots

- Take 5-10 mins still shots, as stable as possible
- Don't pan or zoom too quickly, take multiple shots

- http://www.squidoo.com/how-to-make-travel-videos-
- http://www.tripfilms.com/Travel_Video-v66770-New_York_City-How_to_Make_a_Travel_Video-Video.html


(:

smile at 4:31 AM

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Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Must..concentrate..

Since I haven't been blogging in so long, I shall reward my dedicated readers (hello Ben and Mafer and other stalkers :D) with an unglam photo of myself in the University of Bristol Biological Sciences library, taken with my MacBookPro's Photobooth:

Haha that's me looking confused and reluctant to start on my essay due in 2 days! Surrounded by books (see, I do make an effort to study!), and backlit by the wonderful sun. Yup, Winter is definitely giving way to Spring, surely but surely. Winds are strong and cold though, so I'm still wearing 2 or 3 layers. But the locals here are already wearing lighter and/or fewer pieces of clothing! So far, I've already seen 2 guys in board shorts and flipflops :0 and the girls are wearing shorts or skirts/dresses, with stockings. Guess they're used to it by now XD

Note to self: shall limit spending from now on! After my trip to London on Saturday, I shall not travel anywhere else :p and I shall minimise my purchases as much as I can - all in the name of saving up (read: lower damage to pocket) for my travels in April!

Another note to self: must concentrate on academics before having fun! I.e.: ABOVEMENTIONED ESSAY. And now that I have Mondays and Thursdays off for the next 3 weeks, I shall start on my presentation and essay (due after the April holiday).

Yes you can do it, Carmen!

I'm finally overcoming my inertia for the essay, and feeling motivated to accomplish most of it today. Yayyy (:

smile at 9:15 PM

3 comments